[(John is gone. No more than a dream. A dream that was just his fabrication to fill the hole left by Cortana to begin with. He comes and goes (she's in no shape to consider that he always comes back), and she can neither see him in reality, nor touch his heart. This is the simple truth.)
Thus it's been reinforced, sharply and often. It's been long enough since saying farewell (the end), since forcing herself and being forced to acknowledge John is gone, that it's hard to remember how much she'd wanted to go with him, nearly chasing after him. Regretting not chasing after him. These feelings are a dull undercurrent only starting to re-awaken.
It starts as a discomfort, a discontentment. It ends in a question she can tell herself is meaningless, or even refusal, but that she knows is the first step to the wrong answer.]
no subject
Thus it's been reinforced, sharply and often. It's been long enough since saying farewell (the end), since forcing herself and being forced to acknowledge John is gone, that it's hard to remember how much she'd wanted to go with him, nearly chasing after him. Regretting not chasing after him. These feelings are a dull undercurrent only starting to re-awaken.
It starts as a discomfort, a discontentment. It ends in a question she can tell herself is meaningless, or even refusal, but that she knows is the first step to the wrong answer.]
Why should I fight someone else's war?