First Message :: Help

[one_one_se7en]

[From this voice, some other strange sounds can be heard, almost muted. Like a storm heard only from kilometers afar.]

So...

Can anyone hear me? I'm a little curious if it is a latent symptom of schizophrenia, but I get the feeling the Chief hasn't lost his marbles just yet.

Comments

[waterfell]

[She bets Cortana wants pleasant conversation exactly as much as she does. But Ami stops swimming and lets herself float, letting the water enhance her mental reach. This is going to take more focus to maintain the link.]

It's been about six weeks.

[one_one_se7en]

Six weeks?

[Sadly, it does make too much sense. Time-space dilation was especially cruel to the Master Chief with the portals opening. Four years had passed for him, instead of crossing over the five years he was out.]

It's only been half a day for us...! I... think we do need to talk.

[waterfell]

[Half a day? The shock threatens to jolt her from her reverie. After this long without a word, after their parting, she'd assumed... to say the least, she'd assumed the silence meant they wouldn't be contacting each other again. It was an idea that had been carefully reinforced for that entire time. It's not that easy to shake off.

Stick to the essentials. It's not time to be sidetracked or confused.]

I'll listen to your current situation.

[one_one_se7en]

Honestly? Things are kind of hectic right now.

We fell into a Forerunner Shield World, there's a bunch of Covenant in possession of UNSC warheads and seeking for artifacts, a Forerunner General with a hatred of mankind woke up, we're escaping from the breaking core of the shield world aboard a Ghost, and there's a huge UNSC ship that's under attack by his forces.

Does that cover everything?

[waterfell]

[She knows the right answer to this. The right answer is to shrug, casually, what can I do? and let it all roll off. No good will come of living her life through dreams.

The right answer is to cut this conversation off now, not to start thinking things like if I see that friend again....

But somehow, she doesn't say those things. She doesn't shake her head to shake off the notion of this intrusive other world. Silently, she listens to more.]

[one_one_se7en]

[Silence. Cortana wonders for a moment whenever if the information received by John's mind had suffered a delay or a disconnection, but his processes haven't changed yet. She's still operating at the speed she needs - for now.

She has a limited window until they escape their danger, and John's mental processes take over.]

Look. We don't like eachother, but things are going bad here. I know what John told you six weeks ago. He is going to appreciate the help.

[waterfell]

[He is only a dream.
You have tasks to complete - here.
He has already said farewell... hasn't he?

These remembered words war with the urgent ones spoken by Cortana.

Dully, like a thought by habit instead of one of her own:]

It's a separate world.

[one_one_se7en]

A separate world!? That not only is John in danger, but that hundreds of lives are at stake doesn't matter to you!?

[waterfell]

[(John is gone. No more than a dream. A dream that was just his fabrication to fill the hole left by Cortana to begin with. He comes and goes (she's in no shape to consider that he always comes back), and she can neither see him in reality, nor touch his heart. This is the simple truth.)

Thus it's been reinforced, sharply and often. It's been long enough since saying farewell (the end), since forcing herself and being forced to acknowledge John is gone, that it's hard to remember how much she'd wanted to go with him, nearly chasing after him. Regretting not chasing after him. These feelings are a dull undercurrent only starting to re-awaken.

It starts as a discomfort, a discontentment. It ends in a question she can tell herself is meaningless, or even refusal, but that she knows is the first step to the wrong answer.]

Why should I fight someone else's war?

[one_one_se7en]

Because John wants you in it? Because you want in? Pick your reason. In case you have forgotten it in the middle of your self-pity and regret, I can read either of you like unencrypted documents.

You wanted to tell him you wanted to come back then, and we both know it.

[waterfell]

[She remembers John walking away from her. She doesn't admit the part where he hadn't wanted to.]

Things change.

[It's colder than it should be, it's colder than she feels, but she's desperately clinging to that ice.]

[one_one_se7en]

Change?

You don't "change" loyalty, especially when he begged you to come -- when he was loyal to you. Even now he still hopes you'll come.

[waterfell]

[But she has changed loyalty, so completely that it shook everything and those tremors spread out to change her entire world. An appeal to loyalty means very little to her.

But the thought of someone waiting and hoping is different. She knows it all too well: the quiet way of sitting, what it feels like knowing it's hopeless but trying to believe all the same, trying to convince yourself it's fine if it doesn't come true.

Still...]

I'm saying no.

[But that seed stays planted in the back of her mind, harder to shake off than she'd have expected.]

[one_one_se7en]

[She stays silent. John had put his faith on this girl for five years, and even Cortana was willing to follow him in spite of the envy she saw in herself, too. But now that they are separated, and a chance finally appeared for the two of them to reunite, Cortana realizes a brutal truth.

She was a coward. For once, she feels John's faith was misplaced.]

Whatever happens in our world, it will happen because you weren't there when you were given a choice.

Keep that in mind as you cry inside of your castle. The only person you're lying to is yourself.