Mizuno Ami☿Mercury (
waterfell) wrote in
apassingthought2012-05-01 07:38 am
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There should be some meaning to my life
I won't be able to care for Mama when she grows older.
I never had anyone near me growing up. Papa was gone, Mama was busy, and I didn't make friends. When I thought I finally did, it was a lie and they weren't the friends I was looking for. When I finally found the ones who could be, I didn't realize it for a long time. Now that I finally see them, is it too late?
There are a lot of places I haven't seen, things I never experienced.
I wanted to be strong enough to fight with them to the end- as a fellow warrior.
But... somehow it feels good to rest right now.
I never had anyone near me growing up. Papa was gone, Mama was busy, and I didn't make friends. When I thought I finally did, it was a lie and they weren't the friends I was looking for. When I finally found the ones who could be, I didn't realize it for a long time. Now that I finally see them, is it too late?
There are a lot of places I haven't seen, things I never experienced.
I wanted to be strong enough to fight with them to the end- as a fellow warrior.
But... somehow it feels good to rest right now.
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[There's a wordless denial in the statement. In spite of knowing she was in greater dangers than he was, not ever coming to believe she would ever die.]
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That remains to be seen.
If the sailor crystals...
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If the sailor crystals... What?
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[There's a part of her right now that might not mind that, if it weren't for what else it would mean.]
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They key to Mercury's immortality. Of her life.
...]
There has to be a way. Even if she took them...
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[Spartan will to live. And his response to the thing he never wanted to see.]
You have to stop Galaxia. Your world needs you.
[I need you.]
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[John pauses. He thinks of Johnson. That he failed to fulfill his will torments him now, more than ever.]
Do you trust them?
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[John remembers another person that was dying in his dreams. Even now, he fears it may be the only thing that may remain of her.]
Will I get to see you?
[If not alive... In those dreams.]
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No 'probably'.
[Someplace between hope, and denial.]
I will.
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You're saying you plan to wait for that day?
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[Nightmares give him less. But they're still opportunities to see her.]
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I've always lived more than one life at once.
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[What we fear.]
More than that... It's hard.
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I thought I could.
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My mentor told me something once: A Spartan can't have his own baggage... His own weight. There's just no room. He already carries the weight of all of humanity on his back.
[Even after he had resigned himself for only one life... More than once, after the fall of his home, wondered if they were just words.
That's a load that never left me.]
I can't have two lives. But if at least one of them made you happy...
[Even if it could be a load bigger than anything he could ever imagine... Her career, or her family.]
It was worth it.
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[Cortana did. And for that, he will be eternally grateful for both women. For her, and for Mercury.
In the way he responds, it's a way of saying there is always a way... And he hopes, that there should be.
Econtra was a place where the dead came back to life.]
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If this is the end, if it's like this, I might not be angry.
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I would.
[Right now, he remembers Galaxia being but a victim of Chaos, in spite of all the atrocities she sought to amend.
But even he wonders if he would let his own feelings interfere if he ever found Galaxia. Overwhelming, or peaceful.]
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But she is still talking with him.]
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