There should be some meaning to my life

[waterfell]

I won't be able to care for Mama when she grows older.

I never had anyone near me growing up. Papa was gone, Mama was busy, and I didn't make friends. When I thought I finally did, it was a lie and they weren't the friends I was looking for. When I finally found the ones who could be, I didn't realize it for a long time. Now that I finally see them, is it too late?

There are a lot of places I haven't seen, things I never experienced.

I wanted to be strong enough to fight with them to the end- as a fellow warrior.

But... somehow it feels good to rest right now.

Comments

[waterfell]

The enemy arrived unexpectedly. We fought. However, I was struck down in that battle.

[findmyownreason]

don'tlikethewayyou'resayingthings

Struck down?

How bad are you hurt?

[waterfell]

I already lost my life.

How can we still hear each other's voice?

[findmyownreason]

You -


can't-


Don't let go. Don't -

[waterfell]

I wasn't strong enough to win this time. [Or maybe it had never been about power; but she hasn't gotten there yet.]

[findmyownreason]

Just -

be strong enough to hold on

[waterfell]

[It's already past the point of it being about holding on. She needs to give up the bitterness poisoning her, the hate blinding her.

It's time for her to let go.

That's never easy, though, and she isn't doing it perfectly now, either. The question that comes is characteristically cynical.]

What should I hold on to?

[findmyownreason]

...




being here with me?

[waterfell]

I can't change what already happened.

However, I'll stay while I can.

[findmyownreason]

and then?

[waterfell]

I don't know that yet.

[findmyownreason]

I'll - be here.

[waterfell]

Onii-san, tell me: If we can still hear each other here, is it possible to still make people from my world hear my voice?

[findmyownreason]

I -

it's worth a try.

[waterfell]

It's strange. Over time, I became used to being with the shitennou.

[findmyownreason]

just keep talking to me

hm -

[waterfell]

That's why I want to still reach them somehow.

It wasn't really like that at first. I had to make them welcome me - and, at first, I didn't bother with that.

[findmyownreason]

What do you want to tell them?

[waterfell]

What would I tell them?

[No answer comes for a long moment.]

That I wanted to fight alongside them, as comrades.

[findmyownreason]

understand wanting to be a part of something

If you want to try - to tell them - I'll stay here with you while you do.

[waterfell]

I don't believe they'd hear my voice.

[findmyownreason]

...

so you're not even going to try?

sure, provoke the stubbornness. XD

[waterfell]

[Silence. Then, finally...]

And if I did?

maaaaaaybe. Cloud might know her a little bit by this point XD

[findmyownreason]

Then you would have tried instead of giving up. and you'd still be fighting to stay just a little longer

just maybe. XD

[waterfell]

[There's a long silence before she answers.]

You're right. There are people who'll be angry if I give up, even now - here, and even when I wake up.