There should be some meaning to my life

[waterfell]

I won't be able to care for Mama when she grows older.

I never had anyone near me growing up. Papa was gone, Mama was busy, and I didn't make friends. When I thought I finally did, it was a lie and they weren't the friends I was looking for. When I finally found the ones who could be, I didn't realize it for a long time. Now that I finally see them, is it too late?

There are a lot of places I haven't seen, things I never experienced.

I wanted to be strong enough to fight with them to the end- as a fellow warrior.

But... somehow it feels good to rest right now.

Comments

[secret_of_the_moon]

I don't know.

I just know that when Usagi died part of me felt relieved even if I missed her, as if things would be fine even if she didn't exist anymore. But when that cat came to me with lies and tricked me it was as if nothing had changed despite of it. As if things still weren't fine.

I didn't want Luna to die... But I don't feel sad about it, she lied. Both of them do nothing but lie to us.

and the story gets more and more confusing XD

[waterfell]

What do you know about being deceived?

lies

[secret_of_the_moon]

Maybe nothing.

But it doesn't take a genius to see when something isn't the way you were told it would be. Luna only wanted me to be Sailor Moon, nothing else, she cared nothing about who I was. She only revealed that my friend was in danger when she saw I wouldn't give in otherwise and even then she kept things quiet.

Just like that other cat is doing. I don't know what it is but I don't trust it. Besides he only knows how to talk about the princess as if she's some kind of messiah or world savior.

[His tone indicates that Tsukuyomi holds a very different opinion about the princess, even if he doesn't know who it is.]

truths

[waterfell]

You aren't someone who should talk about being deceived that way.

[secret_of_the_moon]

Just because I didn't tell you that once I was a senshi? I've told you, I didn't do it with the intention of hiding it, it just has no meaning. It was a mistake that hasn't happened again nor will happen ever again.

You said you may be Ami Mizuno, but that you weren't the Ami I knew and that I shouldn't put you two together. I may have been Sailor Moon, but I'm not Usagi Tsukino. And you should keep that in mind just as I keep in mind that you're not the Ami I can see everyday. If you're going to insist on it not being any different...

Then I won't acknowledge anything else you say about that matter. Because I'm not going to play that game. I want to be your friend, not because I'm friends with the Ami I've known for a long time, nor because I was a senshi, but because I like you.

[waterfell]

...

A different incarnation?

I remember her. From the start. I remember her lying from the start.

[secret_of_the_moon]

I don't know. Usagi Tsukino was my little twin sister, but she died years ago. One day she was the and the next she wasn't. I have seen her in dreams lately, the Usagi from another world where I didn't exist. I don't understand it, nor why Luna came to me if Sailor Moon was supposed to be my sister, but I'm not her. I'll never be her.

I'm just... Tsukuyomi Tsukino. No one else.

[waterfell]

No. I'm sure of it. You have the aura of Sailor Moon.

[secret_of_the_moon]

I don't transform in Sailor Moon.

[Just once and Sailor Moon is just a mistake, not some sort of entity that rules his life.]

[waterfell]

What made you decide that?

[secret_of_the_moon]

It just didn't feel right and I didn't like it. I suppose... I'm just not fitted to be trusted with power.

[waterfell]

No speeches about using it to help your friends and protect everyone?

[secret_of_the_moon]

That kind of power? No. I'll use the strength of my hands for it. I'm a man, not a magical girl that jumps around in a miniskirt and fills the place with rainbows and rabbits.

[He can give speeches, but not about that.]

[waterfell]

So my dreams contain a Sailor Moon with some sense.

[secret_of_the_moon]

[Maybe not, if he had that maybe he would have killed himself once everything started, but he has the feeling it would solve nothing and he doesn't want to die either. He decides to let that pass and focus on Ami again, forget Sailor Moon, this is about Ami.]

Ami-chan, this feeling of emptiness... What have they done to you?

[waterfell]

I lost my life this time. That's what happened.

[secret_of_the_moon]

T-That...

[It can't be. Ami can't die, she can just die like that, it's a thought he can't wrap his mind around. Something he doesn't want to even think of.]

Who did this to you? What's their name, how do they look?

[As if that would fix anything, as if he can do anything. But he wants to know, so he can try. He once managed to have the dream he wanted to and bring Ami to his side there, maybe he can also slip into the dreams of whoever did that to Ami and... Do something.]

[waterfell]

It's a war that will be handled in my world. You don't need to concern yourself with it.

[secret_of_the_moon]

I can concern myself with you, though.

[waterfell]

I never asked for you to. You also won't gain anything from it.

[secret_of_the_moon]

I'm not doing it because you asked or because I can gain anything from it. I do it because I want to, that's all.

[waterfell]

If that's true, do as you wish.

[secret_of_the_moon]

Then it's okay if I stay with you here, right?

[waterfell]

Until you wake up?

[secret_of_the_moon]

[He can't promise that he won't wake up, he's not that foolish.]

And once I fall asleep again. I'll be with you as much as I can. I would say I would find a way to not wake up or to sleep even in class but you probably would scold me for that.